1980 - the movie Friday the Thirteenth debuts
1983 - my birth
1984 - the movie Nightmare on Elm Street debuts
1985 - The move Nightmare on Elm Street 2 debuts...meanwhile....Hasboro came out with "My Buddy" doll line to teach children how to care for their friends. He had red hair wore blue overalls and a yellow and red striped shirt
1988 - Hit thriller Child's Play hit the theatre with the lead "Chucky" who also had red hair, wore blue overalls and a red and yellow striped shirt. Oh yeah, it also had brown pink and blue stripes to help children and their parents differentiate between the two dolls to avoid being sued.
1988.5 - FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT!!! While Mom was at work Dad said the rest of us could stay up late and watch a movie as long as we didn't tell Mom, because Daddy would get in trouble. Daddy told me it was a kids movie about dolls and rainbows. So we popped our popcorn, got all cozied up and popped Child's play in the VCR.
1988.688679245 - Started wetting the bed.
1989 - Since it was so much fun with Chucky, Daddy decides to make movie night a regular priority and needs to make up for the lost time. (Please refer to 1978, 1980, 1984)
1989.5 - Dad tries to convince Mom to buy electric shocking underwear to fix the bed wetting problem.
1990 - Arachnaphobia is realeased. So is my bladder.
1995 - Wet the bed for the last time.
2002 - Some distant cousin at my graduation party has a my buddy doll and shoves it in my face and raspily says "Hi I'm Chucky, wanna play?" realizing I still have deep issues with Chucky I retreat to the bathroom to hyperventilate, making sure he's not hiding in behind the shower curtain or under the sink.
2010 - I watch parts of Child's play on YouTube and realize it's not as scary as I remember when I was 5 and the graphics are pretty bad. Note to self I probably shouldn't see Bride of Chucky because is most likely very more realistic since it was made in 1998 when graphics were much more realistic. Don't push it Desiree...don't push it.
The Moral of this story is: Going potty once in the bathroom is better than twice in the bed.
Good parenting tip: Don't punish your kids with electric shock undies if it's your fault they're wetting the bed in the first place.
hahahahahahahaha!
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