20 reasons NOT to learn English

I started learning Spanish in the sixth grade. It was mandatory. I am half Mexican, my father is fluent in Spanish. I was not. Most Hispanic people I encountered would ask me why I didn't know Spanish, after all I looked Mexican right? Turns out my dad's generation had parents who didn't want their kids to speak Spanish because it was frowned upon. Maybe that's why he didn't teach me?
I thought I'd try my hand at teaching English to non native speakers. I started teaching at a small non-profit school. I couldn't understand why it was so much harder to learn English. Then at a meeting we were given a list:

"20 Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn"

1. The bandage was wound around the wound
2. The farm was used to produce produce
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
4. We must polish the Polish furniture
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert
7. Since there is no time like the present, he though it was time to present the present
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9. When shot at, the dove dove in to the bushes
10. I did not object to the object
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid
12. They were too close to the door to close it
13. The buck does funny things when the does are present
14. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line
15. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow
16. The wind was too strong to wind the sail
17. After a number of injections my jaw got number
18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear
19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

What the heck is this?! Is this really the language I've been raised to learn, write, read and sing to? Who made this language? Someone was smokin' crack when they started making the rules here. All I can say is no wonder I never understood anything in English class. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to any of it!

I will now learn Esperanto which makes much more sense.